Mmm... chewy.

Tonight, I made a fantastic new discovery - bubble gum! I've seen the kids chewing this stuff before and always thought it looked yummy, but they've never been kind enough to share with me. Tonight, though, must have been my lucky night because somebody left a big bag of gumballs out where I could reach it. Since I'm not one to pass up an opportunity, I went right to work eating as many of those tasty little buggers as I could cram in my mouth before I got busted. When Christopher finally caught me and took them away, I had eaten at least a pound of them. In fact, the bag was almost empty. Not bad, if I say so myself.

There is one minor problem. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to swallow the gum. Nobody ever told me to spit it out after the flavor went away. With a pound of bubble gum in my belly and my chronic gas problem, we're going to have more bubbles around here than the Lawrence Welk show. I just hope I don't float away.

Luke

I got in trouble today. :(

Mom left me alone in the kitchen tonight with a full garbage can. How can she expect me to resist something so inviting as that? Anyway, it's not the first time I've gone through the garbage and nobody ever got very upset before, but I guess this time they had been doing some painting in the house and there were roller covers in the garbage with wet paint on them. Obviously, I didn't want to eat those, so I set them aside on the floor. It turns out Mom didn't want the kitchen floor painted pastel blue. Personally, I thought it looked pretty nice, but I guess it didn't appeal to her personal sense of style. She gave me the evil eye and I went and hid in the laundry room. Once she's over the initial pissy fit, I'm sure I can use my sad puppy face to make it all better. But I think maybe I should wait just a little while.

Luke

Pitbull Forum

I joined the Pitbull forum today (www.pitbullforum.com). What a cool bunch of people. I like it so much I even added it to my links. That is all.

Luke

Time to diet

Well, I looked at myself in the mirror today and was startled to see that I'm starting to get a little "thick" around my middle. Where my ribs used to be visible, there is now nothing but soft, squish flesh. I'm even getting cottage cheese on by butt. Yuck!

So I've decided that from now on, it's nothing but healthy food and lots of exercise for me. I'm giving up pig ears, rawhide rolls, table scraps, and candy for a vegetarian diet. Yup, nothing but bean sprouts and green, leafy vegetables. Also, I'm going to run on a treadmill for 3 hours each day and do 500 pushups. Soft and squishy Luke will soon return to his former status as hard and toned Luke. I think I'll cut my sleep to 8 hours a day, as well. I'm tired of being lazy.




APRIL FOOL!! (I can't believe how gullible you people are.)

Whew! All this typing wore me out. I'm going to sleep (right after I grab a snack). See you later.