Stupid squirrels.

Yes I know, I write a lot. It's just that the novelty of having my own computer (the father of this family is some sort of computer geek and thinks everyone should have a computer) is still fresh and I'm thoroughly enjoying not having to share a computer with anybody else, like I used to.

While this place is nice, it's not without it's problems. The huge backyard that I spoke of previously is, unfortunately, completely overrun with puffy-cheeked, bushy-tailed rodents. It's almost a full time job for me to run around the yard barking at them and chasing them up the trees. Sometimes, I try to climb the trees after them, but I just don't seem to be equipped to catch them. I remember seeing a show one time about how to catch smaller, faster animals. I might just have to take some of Wile E. Coyote's advice and give the Acme Rocket Company a call. Those squirrels won't stand a chance (evil laugh). Maybe if those dummies would stop feeding them...

No turning back now.

I have officially relocated. So far, things are going even better than expected. In a pathetic effort to win my affection, they keep giving me dog treat after dog treat. I already think they're the best thing since sliced bread (mmm... bread), but I continue to act depressed so as not to jeopardize the constant flow of canine cuisine. Eventually, though, I'm going to have to cave in.

Met the new family.

We just returned home from meeting the new family. I'll be the first to admit that my skepticism was misplaced. They seem like very nice people. They have a huge yard, a pool, and five kids to shower me with affection. The only think missing in their lives is the immeasurable joy that only a magnificent pet such as myself can bring. I look forward to enriching their feeble existences. They do need a little bit of obedience training, but I think with some hard work and perseverance, they can be just the way I want them. I will be making the big move this weekend. Update to follow.

The Big Apple or the big goose egg?

My humans told me today that they are moving to New York. I was so excited! I love The Big Apple! (Actually, I've never been there, but how bad can it be if it's named after food?) Unfortunately, my exuberance was short-lived because it seems what they meant was that they were moving to New York. I would be going on a much shorter trip tomorrow evening to meet my new family. The humans assured me that the new humans would continue to treat me like the royalty I am and that the extravagant lifestyle to which I had become accustomed would not change. I shall remain skeptical until after I have evaluated the new family for myself.